Are there big Backyards in Heaven?

"Mom, are there big backyards in Heaven?"

We were snuggling and watching a movie. It was getting late & we were both a little quiet. I knew this was a good time to ask Austin if he wanted to talk to me about anything that was on his heart. I have to admit, though, that this wasn't the question I was expecting from him. Honestly, though, I didn't know what he may be thinking about, I only knew that I had to allow him this opportunity, even if I was scared.

When I close my eyes, I can still picture those beautiful blue eyes looking up at me. Those eyes...gosh, they held so much wisdom to belong to a six year old. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

I took a deep breath, said a prayer, and answered his question the best I could.

"Yes, Austin, there are big backyards in Heaven and they go on and on forever."

His response, "Darn it, Rose will never stay in the house!"

(Rose is Austin's golden retreiver) I still smile when I think about this.

I told Austin about God's promises, that he has a huge mansion in Heaven, with rooms in it for all of us. I told him that the bible tells us about this and that Jesus has gone ahead of us to get everything ready. I told him that we would all be together in Heaven.

I had been worrying about preparing him for Heaven, struggling with how I would do this. Worried about how I would answer his questions; worried that I wouldn't help him to feel safe.......and in the end the only thing that worried him was keeping Rose in the house.

Life really is too short to worry about all of the small stuff, isn't it?

Austin taught me that.

I won't be sad today...

I heard a lady on television today say something that truly struck a cord with me. "I won't be sad today, I'll leave it for tomorrow". Hmm...

When told by a conference room full of doctors that my six year old would not survive his recurrance of cancer I was crushed, devastated, shocked- a whirl of emotions that I could still not put to words. All I knew was that I did not have time to react on those feelings. I had to act on the moment... I had a mischevious toe-head waiting in the next room, ready to head home for the first time in almost five months.

I wiped my tears and opened the door to see that same little boy bossing his nurses around and tapping his foot, waiting on me. "Come on mom, lets get going". And so we did.

I spent the next six weeks enjoying life with that little boy, attacking life as we did everyday, smiles and giggles on board, something new to discover around every corner, no time for sadness. Did he know he was dying? Oh yes, but through the eyes of a child, he was embracing the here and now, not something that wasn't going to happen today. Shouldn't we all live our lives that way?

Today as I heard that woman say those words, "I won't be sad today", I thought about how I felt back then after that solemn diagnosis from our doctors. That was the way I thought: I can't be sad today, I'll have to wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow did come and it was painful. I would be lying to say anything different. The good part it that it doesn't last...the sun does shine again.